This blog began as a place to share the inspiration that I felt while holding a paint brush. I loved posting about my artistic endeavors and sharing tips and tricks. I was so happy as an art-pursuer, maintaining a professional career in technology, and as a newlywed. This was a time when I thought that my life had at long last, come together. It WAS true. Today, at age 77, my life is in its final chapters and I feel the urge to let you in, to write on.
Four years ago I became a widow after being my husband’s sole caregiver as he declined with dementia. Writing here and in my daily journal has sustained me. While he was alive I had become accustomed to writing on this blog about what we were going through and that practice helped me to accept the reality of what it is really like losing the person you love most in the whole world.
No one knows what I had to overcome to let him in, to be in a loving and kind relationship based on trust. I have never written about my past life, adventure highs and lows, and my invisible-style childhood. I never wanted you to know. I have experienced so much happiness and joy that I don’t want to hold secrets. I know what it means to ‘let it go.’
Before my husband died, I made a decision that my life was not going to be swept away and buried with him. I had fought so hard to get to this place, to feel love, that I must go on, carrying grief. It is a different life now, chapters to unfold, as I redefine and explore, at this stage of life, what it means to thrive.