When you have dementia, all milestones are sad ones. My dear husband and I always observed the jewish tradition of yahrzeit to honor our parents memory on the anniversary of their death by reciting the kaddish, a mourners prayer, in the synagogue and donating charity in their names. Sometimes we burned a special long burning candle, too, marking the solemn occasion.
My dear husband cannot attend group events where he cannot get up and walk about at will. So Friday night I attended services by myself and I stood up for Dorothy when her name was read aloud from the bema. I stand for you too, my dear husband, because you don’t remember Dorothy was your mom. I am so grateful that I held her hand on her journey. She always smiled when she saw me!